Midori (fd_midori) wrote,

7 Steps to Find the Best Lube for You! + Feb/Mar classes (RI, SEA, SF, SFW, Den)

7 Steps to Find the Best Lube for You!

Table Of Contents
1. 7 Steps to Find the Best Lube for You!
2. Feb/Mar Classes/Events (Santa Cruz, Providence, Seattle, San Francisco, Dallas, Denver)
3. Bang 4 The Buck Women’s Party. Feb 23
4. Passionate Bonds: Creating Effective D/s Protocol weekend w Laura Antoniou and Midori in April! Tix on sale now!
5. Rope Dojo DC (April) tix on sale March 1st!
6. AIDS LifeCycle – Please support me
7. My Online Hangouts. Now on Vine & Instagram!


The right lube can make your good sex great. But the market is flooded
with tons of wildly varied lube. How do you pick the one that’s best for
you? You don't want to waste time or money, and you certainly don’t
want to end up with some icky discomfort or complication from a tragic
lube choice.

Here’s the “7 Steps to smarter lube shopping” I’ve developed. I talk
about this in many of my classes, and frequently get asked about this -
so this month, instead of reporting what’s up with me, let’s talk lube.

You’re at your friendly neighborhood sex shop, standing before a massive wall of lube… what do you do? You could take your BFF’s suggestion, but that’s just what works for them. You could go for store’s suggestion, but maybe that’s just what they’re promoting this month. Base your decision on the price point – because you get what you pay for, right? Nope. Actually the price has more to do with packaging and marketing cost than what’s in the bottle.
Make the best choice for you by following the 7 steps below. It’s like a reality show of lube. Anytime the answer is “No”, it’s voted off the island.

Step 1: Read the Label
- Check out the ingredients. Water based and silicone lubes are great for shagging, oral sex and are condom safe. Oil based is fine for just hand jobs, but not good for many insides, especially for vaginal health. And oil based busts condoms.
- Prone to yeast infections & UTI? Avoid glycerin, glycol, and glycerol. They’re sugar derivatives and will just feed them yeasty beasties in your happy bits.
- Parabens, a class of preservatives, may be linked to certain forms of cancers. So responsible manufactures have stopped using them
- Manufacturer contact info: Do they want to be reached or do they want to hide from you? I like companies that can be easily reached and proud and responsible. Currently I’m avoiding lube manufactured in China, as lately manufacturing standards in a lot of products (baby food, pet food, construction supplies) have been substandard or adulterated. Until their production standards rise at a general level, “made in China” isn’t going in my Miss Kitty.
- Are you vegan? Look for vegan friendly lube.

Step 2: Initial Texture
- Pour a bit on your palm. Rub it around. Do you like the initial texture or not

Step 3: Slickness Duration
- Keep rubbing the lube on your palm for several minutes. Does it stay slick or does it get tacky?

Step 4: Bouquet
- Put your lube rubbed palm up to your nose. Do you like how it smells? If you don’t like how it smells, you’re not going to get down on it.

Step 5: Taste
- Lick it. Better yet, pour it in your mouth. If you’re sexing like a mad weasel, you’re going ingest a lot of lube. Might as well try it now. Do you like how it tastes? If you don’t like how it tastes, you’re not going to lick it.
lube hugging
(Chug it! Me, downing Sliquid at Venus Envy in Ottawa, Canada. Sliquid makes a fabulous range of excellent lubes )

Step 6: Allergy Test
- If you have allergies, especially to skin products and foods, this is important. Take a gob of lube and rub it on your gum line. Wait. Any reactions? I’d rather have you find out in the store, on your gum, rather than in bed with your organs swelling up for all the wrong reasons.

Step 7: Shag Test
- If the lube passes all the steps above, buy the smallest bottle, take it home and commence shagging, whether solo or with others. Partnered
sex? See how they likes it and how it does in the “action testing” phase

Now go forth and have a great time!

hula lube

(This is my favorite flavored water based lube. Really delicious tropical fruit flavors! Hula lube )

With love and lunacy,


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2. FEB/MAR CLASSES / EVENTS: (Santa Cruz, Providence, Seattle)


• Tue 2/12 “Hands-on Rope Bondage” at Pure Pleasure boutique

• Wed 2/13 “JoyStick Secrets: How to Thrill a Man” Pink Bunny boutique
• Thr 2/14 “How to Make Anything Sound Sexy” at Academy of Science Night Life
• 3/1 – 3/3 ForteFemme: Women’s Dominance Weekend Intensive. Sold out! Waiting List available here


• 2/15 – 2/17 Fetish Fair Fleamarket Presenting several classes and hanging out


• Thr 2/21 "Mapping Your Power Exchange Archetype" at Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex. Tix
• Fri 2/22 “Wrapped for Pleasure: Easy Bondage for Steamy Sex” at Babeland. Register here
• Sat 2/23 Bang 4 The Buck women’s party! Notorious & sexy annual party. Proceeds benefit AIDS LifeCycle & LifeLong AIDS
Alliance Get tickets at www.bang4thebuck.org


• 3/8 – 3/10 South Plains Leatherfest

• 3/21 “JoyStick Secrets: How to Thrill a Man” at Fascinations
• 3/22 "Bedroom Bondage For Hot Sex & Fantasy Role Play" at Fascinations
• Mon 1/28 3/24 BDSM! Bent Denver Sunday with Midori

3 class special day! Tix here
9:30am “Hands-on Rope Bondage
1pm “"Mapping Your D/s Archetype: Towards Successful D/s M/s Relationships"
4pm “Art of Feminine Dominance”

= = =


Tickets go on sale January 10th

A night for women of debauchery and glorious fun for a good cause!
All proceeds go to AIDS LifeCycle, Lifelong AIDS Alliance and Center for Sex Positive Culture

When: Saturday, February 23. 6 pm – 2 am
Where: CSPC/The Wet Spot, 1602 - 15th Ave W., Seattle WA


$75 Skip the line, get the best seats and win more stuff!
You get:
• Big Bang all night ticket
• Preferred entrance. Skip the line.
• Special reserve Strip-o-Rama seating in the best area. Front Row baby!
• $20 Bang Bucks
• 20 free raffle tickets
• Special Thank You gift bags

VIP ADVANCED TICKETS (sold online only)
$50 Skip the line, get the best seats and win more stuff!
You get:
• Big Bang all night ticket
• Preferred entrance. Skip the line.
• Special reserve Strip-o-Rama seating in the premium seating area
• $10 Bang Bucks
• 10 free raffle tickets
• Special Thank You gift bags

Big Bang General Ticket (sold online & at the door)
• Attendance to the hottest party of the season!
• General seating

Event Schedule:
• 6pm - 7pm: Strip lesson for butches and femmes
• 7:30pm - 10pm: Amateur Strip-O-Rama / Auntie Midori's Meet Market
• 10pm to 2am: Sizzling Sex & Play Party

Turn your dancer tipping and raffle tickets into tax deductions! You've got 2 ways

1. Before the party, donate directly to AIDS LifeCycle fundraising page. Go to either Midori's Page (www.ToFightHIV.org/goto/Midori), or Kelly's Page (www.ToFightHIV.org/goto/KellyB) and put BANG BUCKS in the message.

Your Bang Bucks will be waiting for you at the party with the Bank of
Bang. Your wholesome and entirely non-suggestively titled tax deduction
receipt will be mailed to you from AIDS LifeCycle.

2. Buy Bang Bucks at the party. Buy $50 bundles of Bang Bucks at the
Bank of Bang, donated directly into AIDS LifeCycle to score tipping
money, tax deductions and good karma.

Major Sponsors: The Pleasure Chest, Babeland, Stockroom, Center for Sex Positive Culture, TwistedMonk, Rope Bondage Dojo
= = =


Registration open now: www.plassionatebonds.com

Space limited to 20 people

Laura Antoniou and I are teaming up once again to bring you this amazing weekend.
Learn how to create customized protocols and etiquette that work
effectively for your unique relationship. Discover how to design
protocol that enrich and strengthen your D/s or M/s relationship, and
serve well through all aspects in your everyday life. By the end of the
weekend you will have in your hands your own customized protocol manual
as well as skills necessary to nourish a sustainable and fulfilling
power exchange relationship.

Whether you are already in a relationship or are seeking one in the future, you’ll gain powerful tools.

When: April 26 – 28, 2013
Where: Resource Center Dallas, 2701 Reagan St., Dallas TX 75219
Cost: $250 / first person. $150 / each additional person in your Relationship Unit

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5. DC Rope Bondage Dojo (April 13-14) Registration opens March 1st

The next Rope Bondage Dojo ® weekend intensive will be in Washington DC over the weekend of April 13-14, 2013

Registration opens Friday, March 1st, 7am Pacific Time.

Learn how to create customized protocols and etiquette that work
effectively for your unique relationship. Discover how to design
protocol that enrich and strengthen your D/s or M/s relationship, and
serve well through all aspects in your everyday life.

Info & Registration: www.RopeDojo.com

Space Limited: 30 students
Cost: $400 /solo $700/pair
Location: The Crucible
Instruction hours: 10am – 7pm both days

Confidence, skill, speed, beauty, intensity, deeper connection, presence
and amazing scene control – learn how to make your rope play hotter and
better with Rope Bondage Dojo. Now in its 11th year, experience this
immersive and balanced training focusing on “Heart-Mind-Hand” approach
and the Rope Dojo philosophy.

In this Level 1 Dojo you’ll receive16+ hours of intensive rope education
from five experienced Dojo Cadres. A weekend for all rope players, for
those who tie and those who are tied.

Included: Morning nosh. Delicious lunches. Afternoon snacks. Limited edition Dojo goodies & more

For more information see the curriculum and FAQ at www.RopeDojo.com

Prerequisite: Willingness for serious learning. Must be able to tie yourshoelaces. No experience necessary. However, those with experience will be challenged.

= = =


I’m at it again. I’ll be volunteering as a Roadie at the next AIDS
LifeCycle, helping 2,000 cyclists ride down from San Francisco to LA in 7
days, raising awareness & funds while having a challenge of their

I suck at asking people directly for this, especially in tough economic

times. Would you consider supporting me? How about just the amount of a cup of coffee? Or a couple of days’ worth of coffee?

Thanks! (Yes, it’s tax deductible!)


= = =


Social media slums & places I procrastinate at

Vine: I’m making videos on Vine. You can see my videos in "Planetmidori" with the app from www.vine.co
Twitter: @PlanetMidori
Facebook Midori |

Google +: Midori Midori
FetLife Midori (Drop by “Midori’s Lounge” group there!)
Personal Blog
Kink Q&A
Sexuality Q&A Midori's Yahoo group

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